What causes change in psychotherapy?

I believe that most lasting changes begin when we get in touch with, and share, what is absolutely true for us inside. It happens when we get past the wall between who we are inside and who we are on the outside; when we stop fighting with, and start listening to, what we want and what we really feel.

While some problems, such as bipolar disorder and alcoholism, have biological origins, at least in part, every psychological problem has an emotional core. That emotional core is the reason why you experience it in the unique way that you do. It is your emotional truth. And your emotional truth is what needs to be felt and understood for lasting change to occur.

Many people think they can’t get in touch with their core emotions. I believe that, with help, the vast majority of people can. In a way, the biggest part of my job is to listen to you very deeply and carefully, and communicate to you what I hear, until you can listen to yourself.

My experience has taught me that people don't do "irrational" things for no reason. Rather, we are motivated by powerful thoughts and memories, and by even more powerful feelings of love, loss and unbearable loneliness, pride and shame, joy and desire, hurt and fear, pleasure and pain.

If this were not so, then it would be simple for all of us to take a few pills, get rid of a few irrational ideas lodged in our heads, and live a perfect life!

But no -- we are filled with stories that define us, and characteristic ways of reacting to the world, and characteristic expectations of life.

These stories are stored within us, in both our minds and our bodies. It takes some time for them to become clear. But once you get clear enough, old stories no longer hold their power, and change is possible.

The Magic of Therapy

Possible -- but not automatic. Real-world problem-solving and strategizing are essential parts of good therapy. So is a certain amount of "feeling the fear and doing it anyway," because no therapeutic process, no matter how effective, can make change totally easy and effortless. If only it could!

Part of the magic of us working together is simply having someone there, in your corner, to help you make the changes you've always wanted to make. Why do it alone? One thing I know for sure from being a therapist -- heck, one thing I know from living 50-plus years on this Earth -- is that life isn't easy, and everyone needs more support than they're getting. When the going gets tough, or when it comes time to let go of the old and try something new, I am your encourager, your coach, your fallback person and your active partner in improving your life.

Please call or contact me to schedule a first appointment or learn more about how I can help you. 240-315-8100.