NO ONE goes to their wedding thinking, “Wow, I can hardly wait to be divorced in a few years!”

People get married with high hopes to love and be loved, to offer comfort, protection and support to one another. Nature has in fact equipped both men and women with the ability to bond with, care for and support a partner.

So what goes wrong?
 
What goes wrong is that “stuff happens” – people say and do things that tear apart the feeling that their partner is someone they can rely upon and feel safe with. Feelings of hopelessness begin to pervade the relationship, like “he doesn’t care about my feelings” or “I will never be good enough for her.” These feelings then separate and isolate the two people further.

Misunderstandings multiply, and patterns of relating develop that make it practically impossible to feel close again. Before you know it, you feel like you’re on two sides of a terrible chasm, wanting desperately to come back together, but not knowing any way to get there.
 
Emotion-Focused Marital Therapy (EFT) is a proven method for helping two people find their way back to one another. In 20 years of effectiveness research, EFT has been shown to help up to 75 percent of couples move from “distress” to “recovery” in 8 - 20 sessions. What’s more, six-month and two-year follow-up studies have shown that most couples who have successfully gone through EFT continue to improve their in their marital satisfaction after therapy is over.
 
It does this in two steps: First, by helping you identify the patterns that have formed in your relationship that keep the two of you feeling stuck, disconnected and in pain, and then, helping the two of you get through the built-up hurt and re-connect again from the heart.
 
Love is the universal language, and EFT has been shown to work with people from countries all around the world, with lesbian and gay as well as straight couples, and with people from all backgrounds and all levels of education and psychological awareness. In other words, despite the word “Emotion” in the title, a man does not have to be a Sensitive New Age Guy for it to work. All it requires is a sincere desire to work on improving your marriage.

Larry Letich, LCSW-C, serves the suburban Maryland and Washington, DC area, including: Washington, D.C., Bethesda, Chevy Chase, Kensington, Takoma Park, Silver Spring, College Park, Wheaton, Rockville, Gaithersburg, Potomac, North Potomac, Germantown, Clarksburg, Boyds, Frederick, Myersville, Middletown, Walkersville, Thurmont, Hagerstown, Mt. Airy, Woodsboro, New Market, Boonesboro, Brunswick, Poolesville, Barnsville, Beallsville, and the following communities in Virginia: Arlington, Alexandria, Langley, McLean, Great Falls, Falls Church, Vienna. Larry Letich offers counseling and psychotherapy to women, men and couples dealing with anxiety, depression, underachievement, obstacles to creativity, especially writing, and sexual identity confusion.